It’s a Date!

10 Nov

We have a date!

At last, after 4 months of impatiently waiting, chasing and quite frankly hounding the poor secretary to death, I finally have a date for my boy’s Autism Assessment.

*does happy dance around the living room*

The past few months have been tough. Sometimes at home, sometimes at school, sometimes just the sheer despair of getting nowhere.

I’d lost my will to write. My days were occupied with a full time job, and my evenings were just a haze of traffic jams and meltdowns.

Don’t get me wrong, there have of course been good moments, but at times, I’ve felt like I am merely existing. Every day is like groundhog day. The same conversations, the same routine, the same meltdowns over the same requests to “please just brush your BLOODY TEETH!”. The same problems with isolation at school, the same kind requests for the teachers to take me seriously and help my child with his social skills.

Sometimes, I have felt strong enough to keep going. My focus on understanding and fighting for my son’s needs has been razor sharp and I’ve seen each day and every tiny success as a step closer to the answers I so badly need.

But my God, there have been dark times. Times where nothing seems to be moving forward fast enough, moments of frustration, anger, self doubt and complete hopelessness.

But today, it’s been worth it. Just having that date. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel, a target to aim for, the reason to keep plodding. I am jubilant.

Of course this jubilation will soon give way to the inevitable nerves and an intense anxiety that the Assessors won’t see what I see and will tell me I’m imagining it all. Why wouldn’t they? Most other people who don’t know my son inside and out think the same.

Some days, when everything just works, I even ask my self that very question. Am I just imagining it all?

Until I ask him to brush his teeth while I take a phone call and instead he does this……

image

In case you are wondering, THIS is a picture of what a demand avoidant child will do to distract from brushing his teeth. I found all ten of them newly activated and “glowing” under his bedroom cupboard, whilst he complained that he couldn’t get the lid back on the tube.

Bring on that assessment.

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