Flying the flag for “Synthetic” children – a response to Dolce and Gabbana

17 Mar

Yesterday, my children unwittingly became just a little bit famous for five minutes. Every news and daytime television programme was awash with the story of Elton John’s response to Dolce and Gabbana’s views on IVF babies and gay families.

Whilst I’m not in a gay relationship, it was their ignorant description of IVF babies as “synthetic” and “children of chemistry” that drove me to respond to “This Morning’s” request for views.

Are these children synthetic?

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Are they made of plastic? Polyester? Viscose perhaps?

Are they any less human than any other baby?

Of course not.

IVF babies are made of an egg and a sperm. The resulting cells develop into a baby in precisely the same way as any naturally conceived child. They spend between two and five days outside of a mother’s womb. Science may have progressed hugely in recent years, but even they haven’t yet figured out how to create a baby out of “chemicals” or “synthetics” or grow a full term child in a laboratory.

Perhaps the initial environment within which they are conceived is less than natural, but let me tell you, having observed my own children be conceived in this way, I know only too well that their ability to come together and thrive in a petri dish just highlights the awe inspiring miracles of nature that they really are.

Mr Dolce also commented that creating children “must be an act of love”. Are IVF babies not in every way an act of love?

What adult would commit themselves to the emotionally and physically gruelling process of IVF if it weren’t out of love for the unborn child that they so badly seek?

Sex is pretty easy. It lasts a few minutes. It doesn’t require love.

IVF takes weeks, months, years. It’s painful, embarrassing, isolating, emotional and expensive. No couple in their right minds would put themselves through it unless they were deeply in love.

My undergoing 4 cycles of treatment was an act of love for my husband. To give him the children that we both wanted and that I felt he deserved. His decision to participate in the process and to look after me at my most volatile and vulnerable was an act of love for me.

Our consultant, the nurses and the embryologists at our clinic nurtured me and our embryos at every stage of treatment as an act of love to give us the children they knew we wanted.

Our children are the result of the ultimate act of love.

And I imagine that a gay couples experience is largely the same. Sure they may “rent a uterus” in some cases or “choose semen from a catalogue”, but lets not kid ourselves that this makes their journey any more flippant.

Now am I really upset, hurt or offended by Dolce and Gabbana’s views? If I’m honest, no. I think their views say more about them than the validity of children born to gay couples or via IVF and they are now paying for their rejection of so many deserving people with high profile boycotting of their fashion.

But what I won’t stand for is the sloppy, ignorant and offensive use of language in the expression of their views.

There is nothing synthetic about these IVF babies, they are every bit as perfect as naturally conceived children, and just as loved. And yesterday, their picture appeared on TV so the whole country knew it.

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6 Responses to “Flying the flag for “Synthetic” children – a response to Dolce and Gabbana”

  1. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) March 20, 2015 at 5:52 pm #

    I have read about this. Hurtful. Just hurtful not only to parents but to the kids. Nothing is synthetic with love and love is the main ingredients in having babies on whatever means you have taken to have them. #pocolo

    • ferreroroche123 March 20, 2015 at 7:15 pm #

      Thanks for your comments. I agree, that is why I felt I had to say something. I am not upset by people’s opinions generally, but to speak ill of the babies is unfair and hurtful. My babies are not synthetic and do not deserve the criticism.

  2. Yvette @ BigTrouble March 21, 2015 at 10:38 pm #

    Lovely post and beautiful picture – This Morning chose a good pair to feature! Our little boy was also made through IVF, through love, perseverance, tears, hope and science and I’m proud of every part of it 🙂

    • ferreroroche123 March 21, 2015 at 11:08 pm #

      So you should be, you’ve fought hard for your beautiful little miracle.

  3. Phil Spencer March 30, 2015 at 8:00 pm #

    Very ignorant comments made by Dolce and Gabbana clearly these people need to be educated. Great to hear your genuine comments, there is nothing synthetic in a parents love for there children and each other.

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