My IVF Diary 3 – 17 weeks pregnant

9 May

Week 17 –

20/2/14 – Have been quite uncomfortable this week. Bump has got smaller and lower and is causing me aches and pains and I am getting braxton hicks which were rather alarming this early on… Especially the other day when they were really frequent.

Baby is sitting really low and is kicking me (feels like jerking or him banging on my uterus as if he were knocking on a door) which is setting off Braxton hicks and I just feel very tight and sore.

I have finished a second course of antibiotics for a urine infection and am worried that this isn’t the end of it.

I went to hospital today for a scan on my hematoma, and it seems that even after a further 3 weeks it hasn’t shrunk. I am disappointed as I really was hoping it would at least reduce a little. The sonographer seemed to be in a tearing hurry and although we saw baby and she measured his head to check if growth was on track, she was very quick and I was sad I didn’t get to spend at least a few minutes looking at him properly

Then I saw the consultant who reviewed the pictures and stated dismissively, “the hematoma could go either way and if we can get you to 24-28 weeks we’ll be happy” ….

WTF! I’d like to get this baby near to full term please.

I explained how hard the past few weeks had been with repeated UTIs and contractions, and having to argue with A&E, Maternity Triage and my gp to be seen and get antibiotics.

I stressed how nervous I was that nobody would help me until I turned 18 weeks and that I was concerned that the UTI would put me into preterm labour like it did with my first son and no one would help me.

She looked at me blankly, before returning her gaze to my maternity notes.

She confirmed that once I achieved 18 weeks gestation, she would put me on a long term preventative course of antibiotics if the UTI reoccurred, but that she was not willing to prescribe me anything right now unless my urine today was showing infection markers.

The nurse confirmed that my sample was indeed showing traces of white blood cells, but the consultant shrugged this point off and remained unmoved.

At this moment, the strain of the past 5 weeks…. The fear, the constant battling for help and the feeling that not one of the medical staff I had met really cared about my baby became too much and I broke down in tears. Feeling so near and yet so far from the 18 week hurdle was beyond frustrating.

My mother, who had accompanied me to the appointment also began to sob, impressing to the consultant how long the journey for this baby had been, how hard the past year had been for my family and how badly we all wanted this baby to make it.

The nurse hurried over with tissues for us both and cuddled my mother, urging her not to be upset. At this point, looking rather alarmed, the consultant finally agreed to prescribe me an emergency box of antibiotics to keep in the cupboard in case I get an onset of symptoms again.

We left the antenatal appointment drained, but relieved that we had achieved a little help and that I now had a better chance of making it to Week 18.

On the way home, I received a call from my regular GP who is a real gem. She had called the microbiologists at the hospital to find out if I could take a long term low dose course of antibiotics during the pregnancy to prevent further urine infections and to stop the hematoma becoming infected. She has also decided to sign me off work again for another month until we get a further update on the hematoma.

22/2/14 – Feeling down and alone right now. I am stuck in the house on the sofa almost everyday, I can’t go out or move around very often because of the pain, the spotting and the bloody braxton hicks which go crazy when I walk around.

By Friday, the isolation and cabin fever took hold and I suffered a complete emotional meltdown. I think it’s been building up for some time. The stress, anxiety, and limited activity caused by the hematoma have weighed on my mind for 6 weeks now, and in the company of pregnancy hormones and a shrinking bump, I was bound to be drowning in tears eventually.

However, rather than sit in permanent turmoil, I decided to book a private scan for the Saturday to replace the inadequate scan performed by the nhs. I really needed time to see everything again and know that my boy would be ok.

I invited my mother to the scan along with my son, so that she could see the baby properly after the brief flash at the hospital.

The scan itself was everything I hoped it would be. My boy was growing, although nearer to date now rather than ahead as he was previously. We saw a sneaky peek in 4d and he is beginning to look more like his momma every day.

The fluid level in the amniotic sac was fine, so my mysterious shrinking bump must be down to changing position or less bloat. My cervix is still long and closed, which is great, and the hematoma looks much more solid on screen. Still bigger than I had hoped for, but I knew that from Thursday.

So I left a relieved lady, and for the first time since hearing of the pregnancy, my mother bought the baby a present as she dared to believe he may actually make it.

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4 Responses to “My IVF Diary 3 – 17 weeks pregnant”

  1. Merlinda Little (@pixiedusk) May 9, 2014 at 5:50 pm #

    Look at him! He is so chill! When I concieved my son everything is not real! But when I saw the scans it become more real. =) Scans are amazing.

    I have been reading your story. Following it almost via pocolo and like your mum I think that he will make it. Take care =) #pocolo

  2. @katgrant30 May 9, 2014 at 10:24 pm #

    Aw, so cute the 4d pic! Sounds like your mum is a real source of strength & support… You are getting there!

  3. emilytealady May 10, 2014 at 10:37 am #

    What a lot of stress for you! I Feel emotional for you. I am so glad you had that scan and had some reassurance. Hoping all is going ok x

  4. Victoria Welton May 11, 2014 at 10:43 pm #

    Brilliant photo! I am SO pleased you had one of these done. Your boy is beautiful. I cannot believe the amount of stress you are going through with this pregnancy – and I have to say that the staff you are dealing with REALLY aren’t helping. You would think they would be much more sympathetic!! I hope you are taking it easy lovely. Thank you for linking to PoCoLo 🙂 x

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