When your baby grows up

12 Sep

So today was the day. It finally happened. The boy started school.

I know I’m not alone here, my experience isn’t even slightly unique, in fact half of you readers are probably going through the exact same thing, but I’m feeling a whole heap of emotions about it.

I’ll be honest, I’ve been looking forward to Oscar starting school since he was about, oooooh 3 months old.

The learning, the maturing, the friends, the cheaper child care….. What’s not to love.

All that hard stuff associated with babies/toddlers would finally be gone, and life would become significantly easier.

No more weaning, no more tantrums, no more biting. Instead we would enjoy intelligent conversations, marvel at his achievements (however mediocre), send him to friends houses while we lounged and enjoy spending all our new spare cash. Yeah baby!

But now the time has arrived, I’m having second thoughts. It doesn’t seem quite so hassle free.

After all, despite my hopes and expectations, the tantrums haven’t gone. Sure, they end a bit quicker than your average 2 year old most of the time, but now they’re accompanied by big boy ‘tude. A deadly combination. Along with shouting, screaming, kicking and punching, we are now fortunate enough to endure frequent outbursts of “I don’t care”, “Stop it” and “Shut up mummy I’m talking”. This kid is 4 for figs sake, and he tells ME to shut up. Where does he get this stuff from?

Yeah, yeah, so what if it’s me?

Then we have the dastardly task of coordinating his schedule. I mean, this kid is barely out of nappies and now he needs a damn PA! The first 3 weeks are bad enough, drop him off here, pick him up there, week 2 ALL CHANGE! Pick him up a different time and send packed lunch! Week 3, pick him up even later from somewhere else, and give him the choice of hot dinners or packed lunch. Decisions, decisions. Then comes the home work, the school trips, the fancy dress … I have a full time job people, I don’t need another. Besides, I make a shitty PA. I don’t believe in doing someone else’s dirty work, so this kid had better get self sufficient fast!

This aside, at least we get to benefit from all that spare cash eh? Well not quite. These childminders have got this scenario all sussed out. Apparently, working less hours commands a higher hourly rate! And a charge for time not worked, because they don’t do part hours. Is this stuff for real? If so, I’m booking that meeting with my boss pronto to demand I cut my hours, put my rate up and get paid 30 minutes before I arrive at work. Genius! So alright, we might realise a modest reduction in overall fees, but it’s not exactly going have us rolling in the green stuff any time soon.

But more importantly than any of this irritating piffle, he’s just too young. Surely. I mean look at him. Here…

image

And here….

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And here…

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He’s such a tiddler. He can’t be ready. How can this teeny, tiny, ickle wickle 4 year old squirt be grown up enough for school, and all that comes with it? The independance, the responsibility, the discipline. What if he doesn’t like it? What if he doesn’t fit in? What if he gets bullied by some a-hole big kid.

And I’m not ready for what comes next…. Getting tall, puberty, spots, alcohol, underage sex, drugs, illegitimate children, jail. It may just be the first day at school, but we all know it’s a slippery slope.

I’m hyperventilating just thinking about it. You see he’s my baby. He’ll always be my baby. I don’t want him to grow up. I just want to hang onto him for a little while longer.

But the time is here. The time is now. There’s no stopping it. So better just let go of the fear and embrace it. Make me proud son x

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2 Responses to “When your baby grows up”

  1. Kay C September 13, 2013 at 9:04 am #

    bless ya honey! we’re all the same you know – hell I cried for a month when Luca started secondary! Re other kids – I was always subversive in my methods of letting certain kids know I wasnt taking any shit when they started on one of mine (ever seen Julia Roberts scene in Stepmom?? I was more subtle but got the job done ..) Now Im dealing with first boyfriends and how that feels (A giving him lift tomorrow, Ive warned him not to be scary … the BF is taller than him .. :-D) and D going to Uni in 2 years *swallow hard and count to 10* By the way the PA thing gets worse the older they get, look out for July and December, you may need to hire him a full time PA! xx

  2. 1createblogs September 14, 2013 at 11:32 am #

    Nice post!

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