Today my IVF failed

28 Aug

On 29th July, I secretly began another cycle of IVF. Since I’m admitting this to you just 4 weeks later, you can probably guess that it wasn’t successful.

I suspected this would be the outcome weeks ago, since the treatment did not go at all well.

But it is only today, my official test day, that that failure is staring me in the face, and this makes me really sad.

I feel like this was always meant to happen. IVF doesn’t work 3 times out of 3, that would just be too clever. But I was hoping that after my miscarriage, fate might be sympathetic. I mean, you don’t go into these things hoping they will fail, do you?

But it did.

The only benefit of this disastrous cycle, is that it has provided me with much information and hindsight, which I will use in the future.

But for now I will take a break from it all. Give my body a rest. I think it’s suffered enough for the moment, and the last difficult month has been it’s way of punishing me for what I have put it through.

I’ve taken the hint.

It needs time. Time to heal.

This isn’t how I wanted 2013 to be. But it’s how it turned out.

In the meantime, I will publish my second IVF diary for those who want to follow my journey.

Since I published my first diary, over 5,000 people from all over the world have read my witterings. They have been the most popular posts on my blog and attract new readers in their hundreds every day.

This tells me that I am not alone, and that perhaps by documenting my experience and thoughts, I am helping just one or two people in a similar situation in some small way.

At least I’m good for something.

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One Response to “Today my IVF failed”

  1. Help Me Help Holly ♥ August 28, 2013 at 9:50 pm #

    I’m so sorry to hear it didn’t work. definitely give your body time to rest and recover. I haven’t had IVF but I did have three miscarriages, the third of which was particularly traumatic. After that my body refused to get pregnant for over a year which I think was it’s way of saying it needed a break and time to heal. Now we have a beautiful baby girl. I wish you every success for the future. x

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