The Big 4

19 Jun



Help me, help me, help me…… HELP ME.

Seriously, help me. Please.

The boy turns 4 in just 6 weeks(ish).

Ahhhhh the memories. Seems like only yesterday I was holding him in my arms, a mere slip of a thing. How time flies.

Hang on. Who am I kidding? This has been the longest 4 years of my life! This birthday can’t come quick enough.


I have to plan an awesome birthday party, and I’m all out of sensible ideas. Panick!

I previously confessed on my blog to possessing a severe lack of creativity. Honestly. I am about as creative as a dung beetle. In fact, now I think about it, I’m worse than that, because dung beetles can make shit into stuff innit?

So great. I’m lower than a dung beetle. Shoot me now.

Anyway, I digress.

Birthday 1, this creative vacuum didn’t cause too much of an issue. I mean, at that age the kid don’t even know it’s his birthday, yet alone have opinions on a party. And if they don’t like your theme, what exactly are they going to do about it?

So, I took advantage of the August summer, threw a load of toys out in the garden, and then invited all my friends with young kids round to play in the garden and eat some distinctly average party food. I did attempt a modest “Winnie the Pooh” theme, but I must admit, this was more for my benefit than Oscar.

Birthday 2 was much the same. Only there were more toys, an Iggle Piggle cake and an ongoing threat of rain. But we pulled it off.

Birthday 3, I banned any party of any sort. It was a bad year. Oscar had been expelled from his private nursery due to biting, I was having a nervous breakdown from the stress, and he didn’t have or want any friends. So we did what any mature, courageous parents would do. We bolted to Peppa Pig World on our own to jump in muddy puddles.

But now with birthday number 4 fast approaching and the boy at pre-school with a new set of party throwing friends, I’m under pressure. I’m up s*** creek without a paddle. I’m like a rabbit in a headlight.

The little man has already expressed his expectation that there WILL be a pretty spectacular party, and is, as we speak, compiling his invite list. GULP.

But ain’t no way in HELL I’m having a bunch of rowdy 4 year olds trashing my house this year. CARNAGE. And the thought of taking said rowdy children to a soft play centre for an E number fuelled rampage brings on heart palpitations.

So, with money low and expectations high, I need to sharpen my pencil and get creative. But I’ve got nothing. I’m all exposed and vulnerable. The only lead I have is a kid who loves emergency vehicles and lego, and a request for a Fireman Sam cake.

And here I turn to you….. the blogosphere, for inspiration. Help me out in my hour of need. Make me into a party planner extraordinaire, give me some freakin ideas!

Just think of the kids man!

And in return you get a virtual hug, and the chance to feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that you heroically saved a sinking mummy and made a little boys dream come true.

You’d have to be one mean dude not to want to do that.

Thanks for reading.

5 Responses to “The Big 4”

  1. Susan Mann (@susankmann) June 19, 2013 at 2:22 pm #

    lol loved this x

  2. Aly June 19, 2013 at 7:37 pm #

    Sweetie, I have nothing. I am equal to you in the creativity stakes and party planning brings me out in hives. Hire a hall for twenty quid and make sure they allow a bouncy castle. Oh yes. Or the leisure centre does a brilliant short and sweet party – 45 mins in the sports hall with bouncy castle and play stuff, then a room to fill the kids with E-numbers.
    You are welcome.

  3. Kay C June 20, 2013 at 9:37 am #

    Im with the hall-and-bouncy-castle idea, works every time, think we last had one at age 1o with about 20 boys and they had a riot … threw in foootballs and mcD Happy Meals and went down a storm. If your nerves can stand it (after all it’s their mops and cleaners) Pizza Express used to do a pizza making party, D had one age 4 with boys and girls and L had one at about 8. Good luck! anything in particular he would like (or rather – you would!) for his Bday? xx

  4. Bryony June 27, 2013 at 4:14 pm #

    Hi Nikki,

    I used to take my lot to Wacky Warehouse or Zoom (not sure its still there). They ran round for an hour or so and got totally exhausted and then filled up with drinks, cake and E numbers ready for another go. They did sleep well that night though!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Dinky and Me

I am mum to Dinky who is awesome- she also has been diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder-PDA, ADHD and Sensory integration difficulties


Not a journalist or a writer, just a dad to two amazing children. Oh, and I love cheese.

She Said That, He Said This

There are always two sides to every story. By @Pols80 and @adadcalledspen


(and other stories)

Misadventures in Babymaking

The Painfully Honest Chronicles of Two Women's Long Road to a Baby Bump


treasure EVERY moment? really?


a day in the life of my sketchbook...

The Blog

The latest news on and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: