Holiday hopes

20 Mar

Right, that’s it.

This year I am determined to manage the so far elusive summer holiday abroad.

Since Oscar has learnt to crawl, any ideas to visit far flung corners of the globe have been banished to the bin for fear of unbearable fidgety flights, sleep deprivation, food horrors and hairy episodes fishing him out of the swimming pool before he drowns.

Instead, our holidays have become somewhat “downsized”. Last year we managed a whole week in Cornwall. To be fair, the cottage was beautiful, and the nearby tescos was a godsend, but it pissed down for most of the week, the beaches were cold enough to induce frostbite and Oscar was an attention seeking moron who whined and tantrummed at my parents, Ben and I for 7 days solid. The best bit of the whole thing was watching the Paralympics in the evenings after he had gone to bed, and quite frankly, I could have done that at home.

So the trauma of our British holiday only strengthened my resolve to go away somewhere hot and relaxing this year.

Only trouble is, I’m struggling to fathom where. I mean, where does a self confessed holiday snob go with an unruly kid and naff all budget? Wherever it is, I sure as hell haven’t found it yet.

Below is my (not unreasonable) wish list:
1. Hot but not too hot. This is essential. I want to bask like a cat on a radiator, but Oscar can’t handle much above 25 degrees Celsius.

2. Short flight. The boy is a renowned twitcher. I think a few back to back episodes of Tom and Jerry on his “puter” should keep him still for……oh, 30 minutes or so, but much beyond that and chaos will ensue.

3. Luxury (preferably 5*) accommodation. Yeah I know – stuck up toff, but a holiday ain’t a holiday to me if we’re slumming it.

4. Child friendly. So no Sandals resorts please.

5. Kids Club. Hubby and I have learnt now that a holiday is just the same stress in a different location unless Oscar is with someone else. So, now he’s turned 3 and a half, I want him packed off to a kids club for at least a few hours a day so me and the fella can finally take a rest.

6. Catering – this can be pretty tough in a foreign country when you possess a dairy allergic fusspot, who survives on a diet of chicken nuggets, chips, pasta bolognese and meatballs. So either self catering with a good nearby supermarket or all inclusive with flexible chefs a must!

7. Cheap – yeah I mentioned the pathetic budget didn’t I?

So people….. Help me out. Find me a 5*, child friendly, gastronomic delight of a place, in a warm climate, a mere hour across the pond for about £500 per person/ 7 nights.

And all before the boy starts school in September and I get fined for depriving him of his education in favour of some fun.

Answers on a postcard. (or failing that, just leave them in the comments box below).

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(Child not my own)

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4 Responses to “Holiday hopes”

  1. Emma March 20, 2013 at 9:56 pm #

    Have you though about take a middle-of-the-night flight so the little one will sleep the whole way? Lot of people swear by it. (We haven’t tried it yet). Might open up your possibilities…. 🙂

    • ferreroroche123 March 20, 2013 at 10:06 pm #

      Haha. Tried that to Majorca once. Timed it perfectly to his bedtime. He stayed awake the whole flight, got completely over tired and hysterical, then fell asleep on the runway at Gatwick. That would have at least meant a quiet journey home, but he woke up in baggage reclaim and was wired the whole way home!

  2. Sara March 22, 2013 at 2:35 pm #

    Check out a first choice all inclusive holiday village or Thomas Cook Kids Hotel in one of the Balearics; all the amenities, buffet to pick & choose from, Kids Club run by Brits and less than 3 hr flight. Was our holiday of choice to keep the girls ergo us sane for several years! Outside school hols they’re affordable, bank loan job in school hols so make the most this year!

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