Broken Record

5 Mar

I’ve been talking to myself a lot recently.

Not because I’m mad, (although it won’t be long before I walk down that well trodden path), no, it’s because my son has acquired a quite stunning ability for selective hearing.

Now I am not a woman who likes to repeat herself. Oh no. Can’t bear having to say the same thing over and over, but in the Roche household that is pretty much all I do right now.

“Oscar, don’t run with that lolly in your mouth”

“Oscar, DON’T run with that lolly in your mouth, it will fall down your throat and choke you”

“OSCAR! This is your last warning! Don’t run with that lolly in YOUR MOUTH!”

“OSCARRRR!!”. ………Oh I give up.

If his ears hadn’t been tested by an ENT specialist less than a year ago as a possible cause for his bad behaviour (turns out the ears are fine…. He is just a little shit), I would seriously suspect he was deaf. But no. Alas, he’s just not listening to his dear mother.

Most of the time this is just moderately annoying, like the time he wanted to open my Ferrero Rocher and feed them to me despite me having told him about twenty times I didn’t want one (honest), or the time I repeatedly asked him to let me help put the roof on his aeroplane, which was ignored in favour of a nervous breakdown with the plane being hurled across the room in protest.

But on the odd occasion, it can be downright hazardous….like the time he tried to put his finger in the plug socket to “help” me plug my phone in despite me repeatedly telling and eventually screaming not to. (Never knew it was possible to run at lightening speed and have a coronary at the same time). Or the time he decided to run in the road after I asked him to stay on the pavement about a hundred times, or the time he ran into the kitchen and picked up a carving knife to assist me with cooking dinner after I explicitly told him only mummy could pick up adult knives.

Of course his hearing impediment really comes into it’s own when I am asking him to do anything he doesn’t fancy. “Oscar, come here and put your pyjamas on”… “let’s watch Tom and Jerry mummy”. “Yes Oscar, after you put your pyjamas on”………”look at this lovely fire engine mummy”. “OSCARRRRR! Conniving little sod.

Now maybe this is just a natural part of his development and typical of any parent child relationship. Maybe it will, like most other childhood phases be gone as quickly as it arrived. But I FEAR not. I FEAR this is set to continue, nay, get worse even, for a long long time. And mostly I fear that I am set to become the nagging mother, the sort of mother who is forever following/chasing her children around looking fraught, shouting and occasionally pleading at them to do as they are told. And I don’t ever want to be one of those.

So for now, I am plotting. Conjuring up some cunning plan to nip this phase in the bud, retain my authority and save myself from the fate that is naggy mum. Can’t say I’ve come up with anything revelatory yet…. So while I scheme on, perhaps you could throw me your pearls of wisdom, or even better, tell me it all goes away by the time they are 4?

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5 Responses to “Broken Record”

  1. 1tric March 5, 2013 at 10:39 pm #

    Good luck. mine are a lot older than 4 and the only time I know they have no hearing impediment is when I shout “Dinner!”

    • ferreroroche123 March 5, 2013 at 10:44 pm #

      Lol! Sadly that doesn’t have any effect on my hard of hearing boy unless I shout “Macdonalds!”

      • 1tric March 5, 2013 at 10:46 pm #

        ha ha

  2. keladelaide March 5, 2013 at 11:37 pm #

    I don’t have any pearls for you but I might have a couple of things that may work. Do a listening chart. Use pictures for what you’d like him to listen to you for. For example, stopping on footpath, use a picture of a people holding hands on the side of the road. Choose the 5 most important ones. You can add more later. Put a sticker on the chart each time he is successful. A chart takes persistence on your part. If this isn’t up your alley at the beginning of the day tell him one thing you expect him to listen about that day. Start with one and when you’ve got that down pat add one more. Decide whether there will be a ‘reward’ for either of these methods. If anything I hope you get some ideas that you can modify to work for you. Best of luck! Kelly.

    • ferreroroche123 March 6, 2013 at 7:27 am #

      Thanks we do charts for other things, will see if I can incorporate this. 🙂

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