Weeping Woman

22 Feb

What the hell has happened to my emotions since I had a kid? Seriously?

I used to be a fairly stable woman, I didn’t cry much, unless completely warranted.  You know, weddings, funerals…. That sort of stuff would raise a tear in anyone. Christ, I’m not a total machine.

But now. Now I’m a blubbering wreck. I cry at everything. Well everything I shouldn’t cry about. Embarrassing things.

For example, today I successfully presented a years worth of my work to the most important managers in the business and when the most notoriously awkward one attempted to maul me, I didn’t breakdown and crumble, I took him on, and won, emotions intact.

Yet that same day, I cried in the car because a line of song lyrics were pretty. Yesterday evening I cried at a bloody sci-fi wedding on “Don’t Tell the Bride”. There was a TALKING ROBOT in it. Really, how can you cry at that? It sure isn’t the romance.

But that’s not the half of it. I cry at medical programmes….. “Please let the child be ok!” I cry at nativity plays (the other parents were most unnerved), and when Pat Butcher in Eastenders died, I cried so much I was actually sick. Yep. That’s right. You heard me. You want to know the worst bit? I hadn’t watched Eastenders in about 5 years. So this wasn’t a rational reaction I had.

When the boy was just a baby I put it down to hormones. It’s natural. You’ve got an army of oestrogen, progesterone and other chemicals whizzing around your body looking for an outlet, you’re expected to be a weepy, howling lunatic. And weep I did, like the best of them.

But come on. Tiddler isn’t a tiddler anymore. Hell, he’s not even a toddler anymore. He’s all grown up and ready to take on the world. (well pre-school). So surely those hormones must have left the building by now?

Why then am I such a sap? Why do my emotions seem so raw and easily summoned now?

I’m hoping someone will read this and give me a sensible explanation for my quite disturbing instability. In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this list of the other things that make me cry and perhaps you can add yours.

1. “Animal Hospital” or that programme with Paul O’Grady about Battersea Dogs Home
2. “One Born Every Minute” – I dare you to find me a mother out there who doesn’t
3. Watching my son drive a mini fire engine on a merry go round…… Well he looked so excited.
4. Comic Relief “appeal” videos…… Sly bastards know how to have me donating with tear stained credit cards
5. If my food is too hot – but I was REALLY hungry.

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