Kiddie logic

7 Feb

I hate to say it, but Oscar has been shouting at Daddy a lot recently.

Whilst the boy and I are alone in the house, all is calm and serene, but the moment hubby drags his weary boots through the front door after a hard day’s work the picture of tranquility evaporates into a puff of smoke and out comes whingey, shouty,  tantrummy boy.

Well, I’ve had enough of it, so today I decided to do something about it and unnerve the little critter.  See if I couldn’t knock him into touch with a bit of reverse psychology. Here went that very conversation:

Oscar: DADDDDDDDY!!!!!! DADDDDDY!!! (jump, jump, bang bang, tantrum tantrum)

Mummy: Oscar, STOP shouting at daddy

Oscar: DADDDDDY!!! (now screaming, crying, snorting)

Mummy: Oscar I said stop shouting at Daddy and calm down

Oscar: (snivel snivel, quivery lip)

Mummy: are you calm now?

Oscar: (nods, sniff sniff)

Mummy: Now Oscar, I don’t like you shouting at daddy. You don’t shout at mummy and I don’t know why you shout at daddy all the time but I don’t like it.

If you keep shouting at daddy every time he comes home, he might not come home anymore and you wouldn’t like that would you?

Oscar: Yes, I would like that mummy. If we throw daddy out the house, then he can’t come in and he won’t be able to do smelly foofs in our house anymore. He’d have to stay outside where it’s all cold and be smelly out there.

Mummy: (sweating now) Er, no Oscar, surely you wouldn’t really like it. If daddy didn’t come home then you wouldn’t have a daddy and that would be terrible.

Oscar: But Grandad is a man and he doesn’t do smelly foofs, so he can come here and live with us instead.

Right….. Well that worked didn’t it? My intention to show my son the value of his daddy has backfired spectacularly and somehow resulted in my becoming a single parent household.

Note to self: don’t try get clever with a 3 year old. He’ll expel your husband. Mind you, he’s got a point….. It would smell better around here.

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