Pants Appeal

26 Jan

People…………parents! I have a bit of a “situation”.

It’s fair to say that Oscar can be a little “obsessive” at times, well most of the time.

First it was the fire engine his childminder “lent” to him, which he passionately clutched to his chest almost every minute of every day for about 3 months (she never got it back), or worse, whacked some other poor kid over the head with if he dared to ask to “share”.

Then there was the endless watching  of a certain Fireman Sam episode (if I EVER hear that Elvis sing again I will not be held responsible for my actions), followed by an obsession with Tom and Jerry……. that one I hope continues for a long time.

But the latest fixation is causing us a spot of bother. It’s pants.

No, no. Not pants like that, it’s a pair of pants. Rescue pants to be exact.

What seemed like a nice little gift as I meandered through M&S before Christmas (how did I ever find the opportunity to “meander” anywhere?) has now turned into an all out war.

You see, so dazzled is the boy by this seemingly ordinary piece of underwear, that we can’t persuade him to take the blighters off!

We’ve tried, by god, we’ve tried. And on occasion we’ve succeeded. But not without the sort of tantrums that only satan with a sore arse could conjure.

I tried every trick in the book to coerce him into putting another pair on:

Distraction – “ooh look at this pair of car ones Oscar, I love these, why don’t we try these nice ones today, just while your others are in the wash?” (who are you kidding?).

Bribery – (see When is a Reward a Bribe? for more on that) “if you put this yellow pair on you can have a gingerbread man”.

And finally, more often than not, Threatening – “if you don’t put these on I will send you to school naked (harsh), or “if you don’t put a clean pair on by the count of 3 I will throw your Rescue pants in the bin!” (child abuse)

Alas, he is still welded to the dreaded things.

So at Christmas I took matters into my own hands. First, I went online on Christmas day (tragic) to order them from the M&S website. EPIC FAIL. Not a sausage left, unless you are blessed with an 18 month old boy who is fully potty trained (as if).

Cue desperate rummaging in Watford M&S store that weekend for any traces of remaining stock. Success!….. Sort of.

1 matching t-shirt, one size too small. (well it’s only underwear, no one will notice) And 1 pair of Rescue pants one size too big.

Triumphantly, I took them to my little fusspot who scrutinised them carefully. The new pants were immediately dismissed. “No mummy, they are too big”. Fine. He’ll grow into them (hopefully before he’s lost interest). But the t-shirt was met with full scale approval.

Brilliant! Not. Now I can’t get him to take that off either!

As a final act of desperation, I wrote to M&S today pleading for their help to scour the UK for a pair of Rescue pants.

Here is their lovely, but ultimately useless reply:

“Dear Mrs Roche

Thank you for contacting us about your son’s favourite pants and t-shirts.

I have checked our systems and can see that these products have completely sold out of our stores. I appreciate this must be really disappointing for you and your son and I am very sorry. I would have loved to find these for you.

If we can help you any further please do not hesitate to contact us.”

Yes, you can help, find me that bloody underwear!

So, now I appeal to all of you kind souls to help me in anyway you can. Help me find some more underwear or tell me a genius solution to prizing him off the wretched things.

Don’t let me down people.

One Response to “Pants Appeal”


  1. 10 reasons why I look forward to work on a Monday « Let's give this blogging stuff a go - January 27, 2013

    […] Wriggle Boy”. Am feeling jubilant when he accepts proposal to wear new Fireman Sam pants (see Pants Appeal), but no so jubilant when he spends the next 5 minutes pulling his winky out the left leg of those […]

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